I've Got a Quick Question

Have you got a minute? I've got a quick question for you
Eugene told me the answer, but I thought I'd come and see you too.
My supervisor went to Sydney, and says he doesn't have a clue
So can you spare a minute? I've got a quick question for you.

Well, I've got a distribution keeping me awake at night
It's got a lump at one end and a tail sticking out to the right
It doesn't seem normal and I don't remember what to do
Is there a transformation? I'm confused and I'm counting on you.

Well that's called skewness and it's something that you might recall (we do!)
It puts me in mind of some words from a man named Paul (poor – all)
Skewness is the least of your worries … while your hypotheses are still in a mess
You've got eighty-five measures and your sample size is twenty or less.

Have you got a minute? I've got a quick question for you
Eugene told me the answer, but I thought I'd come and see you too.
My supervisor went to Sydney, and says he doesn't have a clue
So can you spare a minute? I've got a quick question for you.

You know I came to see you a couple of weeks ago?
And you showed me an analysis I didn't already know?
I took it to my supervisor and she threw it right out the door
Because no-one in our area had used that method before.

The big names in the field use ANOVA, regression and t-tests (t-tests!)
And their stuff gets published, so it's very clear that they know best (know best!)
It's OK for you to come up with these bright ideas
But you don't have to deal with rejection and reviewers' sneers.

Have you got a minute? I've got a quick question for you
Eugene told me the answer, but I thought I'd come and see you too.
My supervisor went to Sydney, and says he doesn't have a clue
So can you spare a minute? I've got a quick question for you.

You may remember me, I did Honours in two thousand and ten (aha?)
I've never forgotten your statistics lectures back then (great!)
If it wasn't for your notes I just wouldn't know what to do (gosh!)
What I know about statistics, I really owe it all to you (thank you!)

Now I'm enrolled in the doctorate programme at ANU (you-who?)
I hope you won't mind if I put this question to you (you-who!)
I've dichotomised my variables, just like you taught us how
I just can't remember what you said I should be doing now.

Have you got a minute? I've got a quick question for you
Eugene told me the answer, but I thought I'd come and see you too.
My supervisor went to Sydney, and says he doesn't have a clue
So can you spare a minute? I've got a quick question for you
So can you spare a minute? I've got a quick question for you